then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
