How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
