A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
