After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
