I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Come on in and take your pants off
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