dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
