rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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