Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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