speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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