What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
