Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and she was petting her beer can
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
