I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
