Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
