Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
