that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
