Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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