I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
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I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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