Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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