butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
