i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
3 2 1 whiskey
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
