You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
