i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
