She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize