he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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