Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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