I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
