i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
