So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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