I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
