We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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