If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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