it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
