You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
