Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Come see our sink grown plant.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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