Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
