very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
