She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
