and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
