OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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