apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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