How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
