I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
