my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the day after is always just damage control
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
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When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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