Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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