I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
