it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
