She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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