best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
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Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
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If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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