i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
