I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
