Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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