come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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