it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
