I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
