He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
