I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize