i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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