why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
