How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
