does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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