she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
