Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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