I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
