OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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