My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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